From the Founder, Brian Mazza 2/16
This Weekends Learning Lesson
You cannot teach courage.
But you can build the environment where courage shows up.
Almost a year ago, my son Leo missed a penalty kick to tie the game against his rival club. He was seven years old.
Seven.
Grown men like Messi and Ronaldo miss penalties on the biggest stage in the world. So let’s put this in perspective.
Leo was prepared. He put in the reps. He stepped up. He struck the ball. It missed the bottom right corner by inches.
That is not failure.
That is sport.
As a parent and a coach, that moment matters more than the kick.
You do not get upset.
You do not make it about you.
You do not attach love to outcome.
You brush it off and keep moving.
Fast forward to the spelling bee this year. He did not perform the way he wanted. But this time, he admitted something powerful.
He did not prepare the way he should have.
Two results that did not go his way.
Two very different inputs.
That distinction is everything.
I told him I was not disappointed in him for the result. I told him he cannot expect results without effort. Preparation is a choice. Output follows input.
But I also made something very clear.
Winning does not change my love.
Losing does not change my love.
Scoring the penalty does not make me prouder.
Missing it does not make me love him less.
Nothing he achieves increases my love.
Nothing he fails at decreases it.
He does not perform for me.
He performs for himself.
He controls his preparation.
He controls his effort.
He controls whether he gives 100 percent or 99.
That is the foundation.
This past weekend he had another opportunity. Tournament final. Penalty kick. Same stage. Bigger moment.
He looked at me with calm confidence and said, I am prepared to do my job for the team.
I was more nervous than he was.
But in that moment I knew something important.
He had the courage to step back to the line.
That is not talent.
That is not luck.
That is not ego.
That is confidence built on unconditional support and honest accountability.
If I had shamed him the first time.
If I had attached frustration to the spelling bee.
If I had made results equal worth.
I am not sure he steps up again.
Parents and coaches, this is the job.
You cannot manufacture courage.
You cannot demand confidence.
You cannot scream resilience into a child.
But you can reinforce positivity.
You can separate love from performance.
You can tie standards to effort, not outcome.
You can teach them that preparation is their responsibility.
And when you do that long enough, something incredible happens.
They step up on their own.
That is how armor is built.
That is how identity is formed.
That is how a seven year old walks to the spot, looks his father in the eye, and says, I am ready.
Not because he has to.
Because he chooses to.
