From the Founder, Brian Mazza 9/15
Where You Sit Matters
Have you ever gone to a lunch or dinner for pleasure or for work where you sat next to someone and felt like your battery was either supercharged or completely drained by the time you left?
This weekend I experienced that at Michael Rubin’s Reform Alliance event in Atlantic City. Throughout the night I was navigating who I wanted to hang out with, for this very reason. In a room full of look at me, look at me, this was a tricky situation. It started off, on one side of me was someone who carried insane confidence. As we started really chatting I noticed this person had belief in themselves, belief in the room, and belief in their aura, and when I started to talk, belief in me. On the other side sat someone just as talented and accomplished on paper, but their energy was heavy with doubt, cynicism, and scarcity, and I couldn’t wait to escape that conversation.
By the end of the night, I walked out sharper, clearer, and more confident because of one person, and drained and second-guessing myself because of the other. Same dinner. Same food. Same night. The difference was proximity. Who I sat next to and chatted with throughout the night mattered.
During one of our HPLT Summits we had some really special doctors in the mix. One particularly discussed the notion of your nervous system borrows belief from the people around you. This is not motivational fluff. It is biology. Mirror neurons fire and wire you to the attitudes, behaviors, and energy of the people closest to you. Spend enough time around negativity and it stains your identity. Spend enough time around belief and it rewires your brain to see yourself differently.
Here is the hidden truth. Even high performers miss this. You can be running at full speed and still be looking through the wrong lens.
Think about being at the theater. If you are in the wrong row, the story is blurry. You can hear the dialogue, but you cannot see the play clearly. That is how most people live. Working hard, hustling, sprinting toward success, while sitting in the wrong row. Their lens is fogged because they are surrounded by people who normalize mediocrity or quietly clip their wings.
The right row sharpens the picture. It puts the story in focus. Sit next to someone who refuses to let you stay average, who sees you not just for who you are today but for who you can become, and your nervous system begins to catch up to that identity.
This is not about motivation. Motivation fades. This is neural transmission. It is identity transference. It is your brain physically re-patterning itself based on proximity.
The Playbook
Audit Your Row Who are you sitting next to? Do they blur your vision or sharpen it?
Upgrade Your Lens If you are working hard but not seeing clearly, it may not be effort, it may be proximity.
Borrow Belief Until You Own It Surround yourself with someone who believes in you so relentlessly that their confidence transfers into your nervous system until it becomes your own.
Be the Lens for Others High performance is not only about what you borrow, it is also about what you give. Be the sharpened lens. Refuse to let the people around you settle for blurry vision.
Sit in the right row. Sit next to people who force you to see yourself clearly. That is when performance stops being a grind and starts becoming an identity.
