From the Founder, Brian Mazza 2/27
You Will Find Peace When You Realize People Are at War with Themselves, Not You
Let’s say that slowly.
You will find peace when you realize people are at war with themselves, not you.
Read it again. Let it settle.
Most people move through life assuming conflict is personal. A short email feels intentional. A passive comment feels targeted. Tension in a room feels directed. We internalize it quickly. What did I do. What did I say. Why are they acting like that toward me.
But high performance requires emotional maturity. And emotional maturity requires this realization: most people are fighting battles you cannot see.
Their insecurity.
Their financial pressure.
Their relationship tension.
Their identity crisis.
Their lack of discipline.
Their comparison to someone else’s progress.
You just happened to be in proximity.
That is not about you. It is about them.
War within creates war outside. When someone is misaligned internally, it leaks externally. Unresolved insecurity can look like arrogance. Low standards often disguise themselves as criticism. Jealousy shows up as judgment. Lack of control shows up as anger.
You see this in business. You see it in sports. You see it in parenting circles. The leader who feels threatened becomes reactive. The parent who feels inadequate criticizes another child. The entrepreneur who lacks clarity attacks someone else’s momentum.
Internal chaos always searches for an outlet.
And if you are not grounded, you absorb it.
Recently I had to check myself on this. I felt tension around a situation and immediately started analyzing it through a personal lens. Why is this happening. Why are they moving like that. Why is this energy directed at me. Why am I moving like that? Why am I feeling this way?
I caught myself.
I paused.
And here is the important part. We are all human. Every one of us. We all make mistakes. We all move incorrectly at times. We all react faster than we should. We all let ego creep in. We all misread situations.
The difference is not in perfection. The difference is in how fast you get back to center.
I had to reset. I had to zoom out. I had to ask a better question. Is this actually about me, or am I stepping into someone else’s internal battle. I feel more clarity than ever. More aligned with my internal mission.
That moment of pause changed everything.
Not every comment deserves a response. Not every tone deserves interpretation. Not every shift deserves reaction.
Sometimes maturity is simply refusing to enter a battlefield that was never yours. Sometimes growth is catching yourself mid reaction and choosing discipline over ego.
This is where the Personal Covenant becomes armor. If you are clear on who you are, what you stand for, what your standards are, and what you will not negotiate on, then someone else’s chaos does not destabilize you. Covenant removes internal negotiation. When you are solid inside, you do not scramble outside.
Peace is not the absence of tension. Peace is stability in the presence of it.
High performers do not take everything personally. That is a muscle. When a coach questions you, when a partner challenges you, when a friend distances themselves, when a competitor takes a shot, the instinct is to react. But the disciplined response is to zoom out.
What might they be battling right now. Where are they misaligned. What is unresolved inside them.
This is not about superiority. It is about clarity. You do not need to fix them. You do not need to confront everything. You do not need to win every exchange.
You need to protect your energy.
This lesson matters deeply in parenting. Our kids will deal with coaches who shouldn't be coaches, teammates who are insecure, parents who gossip, teachers who are overwhelmed. If we teach them that every negative interaction is personal, we make them fragile. If we teach them that most adults are still figuring themselves out, we make them resilient.
Perspective builds emotional durability.
The same applies in business. Not every no is a referendum on your value. Not every tough negotiation is disrespect. Not every cold response is intentional. Sometimes someone is exhausted. Sometimes they are under pressure. Sometimes your ambition exposes their complacency.
That reaction is not your burden to carry.
Here is the deeper layer. You only take everything personally when you are unsure of yourself. If you are half committed, half disciplined, half aligned, then criticism feels threatening. But when you are fully committed to your standards, you can absorb friction without spiraling.
One foot in is still out. If you are fully in on your covenant, your health, your leadership, your parenting, your business, you are not easily shaken. You know who you are. And when you know who you are, someone else’s war does not become your war.
This week, when friction shows up, pause before responding. Ask what they might be carrying. Check if your covenant has been broken. If it has not, stay steady. And if you realize you reacted too quickly, correct it fast. Get back to center quickly. That is strength.
Peace is power. Calm is dominance. Composure is a competitive advantage.
Most people are fighting themselves.
Do not join battles that were never yours.
Stay centered on what actually matters. Your health. Your family. Your standards. Your mission.
Everything else is noise.
Have a peaceful and eventful weekend, and if you’re in the North East enjoy a 50 degree Saturday!
